Last Updated on September 15, 2023
Albert Charles Kreischer Jr., better known as Bert Kreischer or by the nickname The Machine, is an American stand-up comedian famed for his spellbinding storytelling skills and for performing stand-ups shirtless.
Bert Kreischer has starred in dozens of comedy specials over the years, including Comfortably Dumb (2009), The Machine (2016), and Hey Big Boy (2020). He also starred in Secret Time (2018) and Razzle Dazzle (2023).
Besides comedy, Bert is also a renowned reality television host, podcaster, and actor. He’s also a published author, with at least one book to his name.
Bert Kreischer Quick Facts
| Full Name: | Albert Charles Kreischer Jr. |
| Popular Name: | Bert Kreischer |
| Nicknames: | The Machine |
| Birth Date: | November 3, 1972 |
| Age: | 50 years |
| Parents: | Al Kreischer and Gege Kreischer |
| Siblings: | Annie Kreischer and Kottie and Kreischer |
| Birth Place: | St. Petersburg, Florida, United States |
| Nationality: | American |
| Ethnicity: | White |
| Religion: | Non-religious |
| Education: | Jesuit High School and Florida State University (FSU) |
| Marital Status: | Married to LeeAnn Kreischer (since 2003) |
| Sexual Orientation: | Straight |
| Children: | Georgia Kreischer and Illa Kreischer |
| Net Worth: | USD 15 million (as at September 1, 2023) |
| Source of Wealth: | Comedy, Reality Television, Podcasting, Acting, Writing, Speaking Engagements, and Other Ventures |
| Height: | 6′ 1″ (1.82 m) |
| Weight: | In kilograms: 80 kg; In pounds: 176 lbs. |
Early Life and Career Information
Early Life
Albert Charles Kreischer Jr. was born on November 3, 1972, in St. Petersburg, Florida, United States, to Al Kreischer and Gege Kreischer. His father was a real estate attorney whereas his mother worked in early childhood development.
Bert has two sisters – Annie Kreischer and Kottie Kreischer.
Education Background
Bert Kreischer graduated from a private Jesuit high school. He then proceeded to Florida State University (FSU), where he majored in English.
He was also a member of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity while at FSU.
Career Beginnings
Bert Kreischer began to receive media attention while still attending Florida State University. In 1997, while he was in his sixth year, FSU emerged number one on The Princeton Review of the top “party schools.”
Later that year, Kreischer featured in a Rolling Stone article titled “Bert Kreischer: The Undergraduate.” The article described him as the top partier at the country’s #1 party school and highlighted various aspects of his partying habit, including heavy drinking and public nudity.
Kreischer’s partying life would later become the subject of the 2002 film ‘National Lampoon’s Van Wilder.’
Stand-up Career
Bert Kreischer’s first stand-up performance was at a Tallahassee, Florida bar and nightclub known as Potbelly’s. He then traveled to New York City on the invitation of a talent agent.
While in NYC, Kreischer did several performances at the Boston Comedy Club. He also attended open mics hosted by television producer DJ Nash, often sharing the same platform with the likes of Bobby Kelly, Demetri Martin, and Jim Norton.
In 2004, Bert Kreischer released ‘National Lampoon Live: New Faces – Volume 2,’ alongside four other comedians. Later that year, his works were featured on an episode of the Comedy Central series ‘Shorties Watchin’ Shorties.’
Kreischer continued to hone his stand-up skills over the next months. He eventually became an international icon and began to grace high-profile comedy platforms. Among the noteworthy television shows he appeared in during this period include ‘Late Show with David Letterman,’ ‘Conan,’ and ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live.’ He also guest-appeared on several episodes of ‘Rachael Ray’ between 2011 and 2015.
Kreischer released his debut comedy special on Comedy Central, titled ‘Bert Kreischer: Comfortably Dumb,’ in 2009. He released his second project with Comedy Central in 2015, the storytelling series ‘This Is Not Happening.’
In 2016, Bert Kreischer released ‘Bert Kreischer: The Machine’ through Showtime. His next specials were released through Netflix. They include Bert Kreischer: Secret Time in August 2018, Bert Kreischer: Hey Big Boy in March 2020, and Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle in March 2023.
Podcasting Career
Bert Kreischer has served as the producer and host of the podcast ‘Bertcast and Open Tabs’ since 2012. He also produces and hosts the cooking show ‘Something’s Burning’ and co-hosts the podcast ‘2 Bears 1 Cave’ alongside Tom Segura.
Bert has guest-appeared on several podcasts too. Examples include ‘WTF with Marc Maron,’ ‘H3 Podcast,’ ‘Doug Loves Movies,’ ‘The Joe Rogan Experience,’ and ‘Your Mom’s House.’
Other Ventures
Kreischer has appeared in a number of films and television shows as an actor. He starred in the 2001 television pilot ‘Life With David K’ before appearing in several episodes of The X Show between 2001 and 2002.
Bert later hosted the reality television show ‘Bert the Conqueror’ from 2010 – 2011 and then again in 2016. His last major television gig was appearances in the series ‘Trip Flip’ from 2012 to 2015.
Kreischer is also a published author. He published ‘Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual Man-Child’ in 2014.
Private Life
Bert Kreischer has been married to LeeAnn Kreischer since December 2003. The couple has two daughters – Georgia and Illa.
The Kreischers live in their primary residence in Los Angeles.
Bert Kreischer’s Net Worth
Bert Kreischer has a net worth of $15 million, as at September 2023. As you may have guessed, the bulk of his wealth comes from his stand-up career.
Kreischer also earns from reality television appearances, podcast producing & hosting, and acting. Besides, the stand-up sensation has graced a number of films and television series as an actor. So, it’s accurate to say that these ventures also added to his net worth.
Bert’s income also comes from book royalties and speaking fees. He reportedly charges between $75,000 and $150,000 per live event, a price worth paying considering he’s a talented storyteller.
Lessons from Bert Kreischer
1. Live life to the fullest
Bert Kreischer’s life has lent more credence to the cliché “you only live once.” While some may have taken great exception to his partying lifestyle especially during his college years, Kreischer probably reckoned that he didn’t need anyone’s approval on how to pursue his happiness.
2. Whatever you do, leave your mark
Not only did Kreischer’s partying habits bring him a sense of personal satisfaction. They also became the subject of massive media coverage and even went as far as to inspire the 2002 film National Lampoon’s Van Wilder.
3. Strive to have a unique identity
Many celebrities attribute their success in the industry to their willingness to forge a unique identity. Bert Kreischer is no exception. The stand-up comedian is famous for performing shirtless, perhaps in tribute to his fast lifestyle.
Famous Quotes by Bert Kreischer
• It’s not hard to find the energy to do the things you absolutely want to do.
• My father grew up in Levittown, L.I., in the first tract housing built for G.I.’s. His dad had stormed the beaches of Omaha and died when my father was very young. My dad had to raise himself, pretty much.
• My second freshman year of college, that’s year two of seven, my father got very sick and though he was going to die. He gave me a Rolex, a bottom of the line one. I wore that watch every day. He didn’t die. On my 40th birthday, he gave me a very nice Rolex that belonged to him. That’s the one thing we connect on: the watch.
• Some of the most fun I’ve ever had has been filming ‘Bert the Conqueror.’ As a stand-up comedian, I love putting this humorous spin on travel, and I get the added bonus of using all these wild adventures in my act.
• When I was on ‘Hurt Bert’ on FX – and I’m not crapping on FX, I’m just being honest – there was a point when I realized that they didn’t care if I died. If I died, they’d say ‘Of course it’s a legal thing, but think of the numbers.’
Wrap Up
Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comedian who has earned a reputation for his partying lifestyle, sobering storytelling skills, and for performing shirtless. Although Kreischer isn’t the richest comedian around, his $15 million net worth is definitely something worth writing home about.
